The Name with The Story

September 19, 2018

" A name have a thousand story" you know this quotes? Yeah, this quotes has the meanings, and it is about my name too.

Name is prayer, hope and love from parents to their children. But, did you ever hate your own name? I say yes, I ever hated my name. The first time I hated my name is when I was in elementary school, when my teacher asked me "is it really your name Depi Rahmawati with P not V? ". I said "yes". Since that, I always hear the same question from other people, they ask me with laughing. Why my name use P not V? Is it because I'am sundanese? No, it is false. This happened because of the wrong writing during the making of my birth certificate, I was born in the midwife's clinic, and was made a birth certificate by the clinic, but apparently the clinic was wrong in making the deed, whereas my previous name was DEVI RAHMAWATI using V not P. My name also has a meaning, namely Devi which means the abbreviation of my father's name and my mother's name "Deci and Fe'i" and Rahmawati which means girls who are given mercy or affection. the mistake of writing this name made me constantly be bullied by my friends, I never writted my name outside of my book, I also didn't use my real name in my social media account, I was shy with my name. In addition, I also hated my name because I considered my name to be the cause of my parents' separation, and made my father hated me.

At the first, my father wanted to give me name Farida Aprilliani. But, my mother did not agree because I was not born in April, and my mother didn't like the name. My mother preferred Devi Rahmawati because that was also the gift from my grandfather. I think because this case, my father started to hate me, this started when I was 2 months old, my father asked my mother to sold me to a wealthy Chinese family in the coastal area for 10 million rupiahs, but my mom refused it. When I was one year old, my father left my mom, my sister and me, for the an ugly but rich woman. My father is also often asked by people, did he have children or not, he answered his child was only 1, that is only my sister, I was never considered as his child to someone else. after he was marrying his new girlfriend, he had a daughter named Farida Aprilliani, the name he would initially gave me but was denied by my mother.

I started thinking, did my father hate me because of my name or because of me. my hatred peaked when I was in senior high school, because my wrong name on my achievement certificate could'nt be used because of different writing. I was angry with my mother and wanted to replace it right away. but my mom said everything was destined by Allah SWT, I was destined to have my first name with P not V, "you have to be grateful, you must be trust Allah SWT for everything that happen in your life" said my mom.

But after I got very much miracle, and those miracle didn't come to others with good names, I began to realize that the name was not important for life and for the future. Good or bad someone's name can't determine someone's sustenance, future, and goodness. after that, I no longer hate my name. I have never again cared for people who judge my name, cause I think I more strong and great then them. Everything happened not because of the name, indeed the name has a prayer but our determinant future is our action not because of a good or bad name. everyone did have a bad past but everyone also has the right to have a good future. for people who often bully me, just because you know my name doesn't mean you know my story.

if we are talking about name, I have also the name for my children later, I want to give name Al Fatih for my son, and Fatihah for my daughter, cause I wish they will be the great leader or the way beginner for their family or someone else. But whatever the name is not important, the most important thing is how we as a parents educate their for become the good and great children.

Thankyou for visiting, sorry if my writing has the mistakes, I'am still learning.

with love, Depi Rahmawati.